musica

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As surrounded as I am by family members and friends who have admittedly sophisticated taste in music (hello, do you not all religiously follow my sister's blog??) I just love pop music. Gimme a catchy chorus, and upbeat drum rhythm - probably what all the middle school and high schoolers the states over are dancing to in cafeterias and school gym dances after football games - and I'm hooked. I love to be happy - it's felt rare and fleeting the past few months that I've truly been so, but I'm getting better at it (name that song?) - and music has such an effect on my mood. It can be like SADS but all throughout the year and fluctuating with a radio or music mix. It's really quite sad, I fear, thus why I keep myself as upbeat as I can. I know my downfalls. I avoid them. And pop music? Makes me happy. Effortlessly. So with that little piece of useless information, I leave you to your Thursdays!

work it

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Yesterday's workout more than made up for Tuesday's screwed up evening. (And yes, I am very aware that the benefits come from the sum of consistent physical activity, rather than each workout individually - but when the stress relief doesn't come from a workout, it's very disappointing indeed.) Truly you guys, I kicked my butt, and I saw results - which really is the best part. I did 3 sets of 10 actual push-ups. And then I tried to do 15 more, but I had to revert to assisted push-ups. (Assisted. Not "Girl". So rude. Whatever man thought up that phraseology, and poo on all of us women who continue to use it. They're assisted push-ups, able to be used just as effectively by men as women. Girl-push-ups my foot.) I can't tell you how awesome it felt to keep going back to set after set of full-body pushups. Yes my form needs improvement, but I felt that additional strength. In the beginning of this re-commitment to working out, I could barely do 3 sets of 10 assisted push-ups. Seriously. My very first day I had to space my sets out literally throughout the evening and finish them at home because I was so sore. So that is quite an impressive improvement, if I may say so myself. I am one proud mama this morning. And it's Wednesday! Not too shabby at all.

withdrawls

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I didn't get my workout in yesterday - I left work late, had the knowledge in the back of my mind that I needed to meet a friend back at my apartment, and kept getting interrupted by well-intentioned gym rats trying to correct my form which eventually led into a spiel from a trainer about his services, which I 100% cannot afford. So I entered the gym annoyed, remained annoyed through every interrupted set, and left annoyed. I am still annoyed this morning, even more so since I was not able to work off any of my daily aggression/annoyances at the gym, which is a huge part of the reason I go so consistently anyway. And now I feel antsy and distracted and more unfocused than I usually am. Blargh. And to top it all off, it's only Tuesday. Eff this.

lovely leaves

 Because it's a rather gloomy Monday and I am still in a delightful food coma from yesterday when my insta-friend-from-our-studies-abroad arrived in New York and we ate our way down the West Side of Manhattan, here are some pictures to kick start your week. The trees in Central Park were lovely - the yellows and golds herald the rather surprising arrival of fall, even as the wind makes me feel that winter is just waiting to pounce.

conviction

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I read an interesting piece yesterday speaking about how life should be lived with conviction, actively, about how you shouldn't let life just happen to you, but that you should make the effort to make the life you want happen for yourself. This certainly is not a new concept, but I am definitely the sort who likes her comfort zone, floating along on the familiar. This move across the country was easily the gutsiest thing I've ever done, and since doing it a year ago, I haven't really lived my life via conscious decisions for my part. I went with the crowd, I blended in, and not only did it get me into trouble financially, but that way of life also didn't do much to benefit my mindset. I suppose there's a correlation between living with conviction and being a control freak, I do have a bit of a control issue as well. Yet, it just makes sense to look at the decisions I make throughout the day and muse whether each is something I am going to appreciate and enjoy or not. I have always been a people pleaser, and there is something to be said for that too - keeping the peace, probably being the single strongest benefit - but I am going to work towards being conscious and present in my life, on a daily basis, and examine each decision I make with its pro's and con's for me, rather than what I know or assume the other party - or society in general - might want. Wish me luck! And Happy Friday!

I love my neighborhood

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I am completely enamored with the neighborhood into which I've moved. A true mix of - yes, the rumors are true - hipsters looking effortlessly chic in what are surely incredibly expensive clothes, thin and waif-like as they suck down their coffee and dangle their cigarettes from their lips, sauntering from coffee shop to subway, yammering on their phones. Mixing elbows with the kids born and raised in Brooklyn, children of Polish and Italian immigrants mostly, also sucking down coffee and smoking, but with tougher-looking exteriors, eyes with more of a smile in them, Brooklyn accents thick and heavy. There are children clutching their parents' hands as they dash up the stairs from the subway to get to the numerous elementary schools clustered throughout the houses and mom-and-pop shops. And there are lifers, the parents and grandparents of the born-and-raised Brooklynites, the men and women who have watched this neighborhood grow and change for years. Speaking to each other in Italian, in Polish, surely discussing children, neighbors, friends of the families, shaking their heads at the latest girlfriends and boyfriends, the things adults all over the world discuss with their peers.

I love that I have a sushi restaurant, a Mexican restaurant, a burrito joint, an ice cream stop, a myriad of bodegas, a deli all within close, close walking distance to my house. I love that further down there is authentic Italian food, a Vietnamese restaurant, Chinese food. And that there is a store selling monuments for your Catholic deceased, headstones for your loved ones, that there is a dentist and a physician within two blocks of each other, where probably only the lifers get their dental and medical needs met. I love that I have found a little neighborhood that still has shops open late after a long day, but that also has families and histories and space and peace and quiet. I am so happy with my change. I think I had needed it for awhile. It's truly giving me a new lease on New York life.

discoveries

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Yesterday, for the first time in the 3+ weeks I've been going to the gym, I discovered the art of listening to my body. I had been concerned, because the week prior I really had not been very sore after my workouts, and I use DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness) - annoying as it is - to gauge how hard I've pushed myself and feel how much damage I've inflicted on my muscles and, therefore, which muscles will grow in healing. Thus I was feeling like I had done very little work even while the exercises themselves had me at a point of exhausted weakness, "I can't even lift 5 lbs, I'll have to lift 3..." mindset. What I discovered last night - when I forced myself to go no lower than 7.5 lbs in my reps - was that I require breaks to refresh my muscles in certain exercises. (I guess maybe everyone does? Maybe I should have been cycling this whole time?) After completing 2 sets of an exercise, and feeling completely incapable of doing anymore, I moved on to my next selected exercise, intending to return to finish the previous set. Upon returning, my body had so much more energy! I was completely capable of finishing that set in good form. It really was an incredible thing to realize, just the amount of energy push that resting the previous part and focusing on another body part could do for me. And it reminded me, this is why I'm getting myself back into a healthy routine; to learn my body again, to learn to listen and to hear what my physical self needs. With the strength and tone I'm striving for, needs to come understanding and knowledge of my physical body. I'd lost touch with myself for so long, and this time of personal focus from the inside out has happened organically, and I think at exactly the time when such inner reflection and hard work was needed. So this was an unintended, and exciting discovery. And with that, we've made it to the middle of the week!