Solitude

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I don't know if it is this same way for anyone beyond myself, but oftentimes when I'm with people, even just another person, everything seems fine and dandy, fun and exciting, but when I return home, and am alone to reflect, things don't feel quite so fitting, they don't sit together quite so snugly. Which is not to say that I did not have a great time with whatever group of friends or whatever single friend, but simply that there are so many other things to consider. I guess this is precisely why I struggle with living in the moment. I ought to take those fun moments, keep them as they are, and not fret about the fact that they might not be there again next week, or next year, or in some vague future time. I tell you, these are the times when I need solitude with space - an empty beach to walk along or a quiet desert afternoon to reflect in as those around me nap or play quiet games of cards. I guess life can't hurtle forward happily all the time, there have to be moments for reflection. It's just a little hard to reflect - even while still trying to remain in the moment - in a city as constantly moving as Manhattan. Yet, even saying that, I don't feel ready to leave. Perhaps this is the conundrum of city living?